Loving Ourselves Where We Are

Loving ourselves where we are is so important and yet a struggle. We all have things we want to change about ourselves either physically, mentally, spiritually or our situation.  We never feel enough or content.

I just caught myself thinking I need to be better at this and I need to work harder here and there.  That cycle just keeps going and going. But we need to stop and think. Stop and breathe. Remember that Jesus died for us on the cross WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS. This is so profound. He didn’t wait until we were good enough to get on that cross. He didn’t wait until we apologized for it. No, he did it while we were a hot mess covered in our own grossness.

Now if we take a minute to think about how WE might be in situations, I imagine we might act differently than Jesus. I, unlike Jesus, have a hard time forgiving someone when they do something wrong and they don’t apologize for it. It is so hard for me.  Because they don’t deserve my forgiveness.  But really, I don’t deserve forgiveness for all that I have done and God didn’t wait until we deserved it to give it to us. I am so grateful because I would have never gotten it and that’s just a sad way to live.  Now, I could camp out here and talk about God’s amazing grace which is so so important but I need to get back. Maybe another time we can sit and talk about that a bit.

So back to loving ourselves where we are. Let’s look at this logically. We can’t do anything about our past right this second.  We can make sure we don’t forget it’s lessons, but that’s about all.  And we have no clue what our future holds, so if we wait until we reach our goal to love ourselves that may never happen.  Honestly, I do not want to live a miserable life. I want to have joy and peace and love. And somehow with all my baggage and expectations of life, I want to be able to love where I am and who I am at this exact moment.  Because that is all I have.  I want to learn how to better love myself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that is healthy for me and for those around me whom I love.

You might be thinking to yourself, okay, I’m on board but where do we start? 

Let’s start right where we are.  We are enough right here and right now.  You are a human being who is living and breathing.  That fact right there is amazing.  The process of living takes so much energy and so many systems to work properly it’s amazing that any of us stay alive and thrive.  There is still purpose for you out there.  There is a reason you are still living.  That is not a mistake.  Rest assured, you are not a mistake.  You’re shear existence is awe inspiring. 

Now let’s move on to your strengths.  Yes you, you have strengths.  You have amazing strengths and talents that you might easily shrug off as “well anyone could do that”.  Let me stop you right there.  No, not EVERYONE can do what you do.  You are unique.  There is no one else out there like you.  Not even twins are the same.  They have different personalities and inherent strengths that differ from each other.  Think back to what you are good at or what you gravitate towards.  Do you gravitate towards hanging out with friends and loving a good party?  Your strength might be connecting with others and building stronger bonds in the community.  Do you gravitate towards reading novels or articles or anything you can get your hands on?  Your strength might be taking in and storing knowledge into that brain of yours and being able to recall it when you see connections between subjects.  Do you gravitate towards working with your hands to build or fix things in your home or projects?  Your strength might be of the mechanical fashion, such as getting gadgets to work or building something custom for your home.  There are so many more strengths.  There are as many strengths as there are personalities and people.  There are more than I know of and more than I can write.  But all of the strengths are something to be honored.  There is no small strength.

Can you think of something, even if it’s small in your mind, that you are good at or that you don’t suck at?   (See we are starting small.)  Take note of things today and as you move forward, that you enjoy and excel in.  Then when they occur, recognize them for what they are: your strength.  Once you start noticing things you do naturally, it becomes easier to know yourself and love the person God made you to be.  Right where you are.  Not next year, not next month, not tomorrow, Right Now. 

This exact second is a gift.  Treasure it. 

IF WE CAN’T LOVE OURSELVES WHERE WE ARE, no matter if we reach the goal we have for ourselves, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.  And we will never be happy. We have to start right now loving ourselves or we will be miserable.  I’ve heard Joyce Meyer (I think it was her) put it this way: New Level = New Devil. And that is SOOOOOOOO true.  It doesn’t matter if you reach your big audacious goal, you will still be you at that high mountaintop.  You can’t run from yourself.  It’ll be fun on that mountaintop, but eventually that mountaintop won’t seem that tall anymore and the high of reaching it will fade and you are right back where you started. 

So can I ask something of you?  Will you start today, right now, actively loving yourself?  It’s okay if you’re not good at it from the start.  We don’t pop out of the womb experts.  We are all beginners.  I’m not good at it either but I am in the process of loving myself as I am.  All that matters is that you start the journey.  Start small.  Start with where you are.  You are an unbelievable human being who is alive.  You have a purpose and are not a mistake.  You have strengths that no one else has.  Start noticing your behavior and lifestyle so you can pick up on hidden strengths you didn’t know you had.      

Go Love Yo-self…You got this Friend!